Day 43

Confused about the unknown. Unsure of the past.  Does the past matter sweetheart?  I don't know.
I don't know how to separate your reality from my reality as it pertains to work.  I am trying to learn and grow in my understanding but today is this first day  that doubt has crept in my mind.  Maybe even a little sadness and fear. I am afraid that the truths that aren't told aren't because of your job but because of other reasons. I'm wanting to know a lot of things that I may never be allowed to know. How can I be certain in my confidence when I am not sure what I need to know, what I should know, and what I can't know?  I need some support. I need to perhaps find other woman/wives/girlfriends that are going through this as well. Where do you  find them??? The pool has got to be small. What to do if I think you have lied to me for reasons other than work??